Tag Archives: Relationships

25 for 25…

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Just under 24 hours from now, the clock will strike midnight, and it will be October 1, 2011. Which means, I’ll be 25! It honestly feels like I just turned 21, but…that’s neither here nor there, now is it? Needless to say, I’m more excited about this birthday than I have been for any other birthday in recent memory. Could that be because I have friends coming from California, Chicago, Toronto, Pittsburgh, Hampton, North Carolina, Ohio, and from around the Washington, DC metropolitan area to help me celebrate? Possibly. Could it be because I can finally rent a car without paying that stupid underage fee? Maybe. I think a lot more of it has to do with the fact that I actually feel a shift happening as I approach this birthday. It’s been an interesting journey through the first half of my 20s, and I’m actually eager to see what the last half brings. I’ve learned a hell of a lot about myself, about people, and about life over the last 5 years. What better way to look forward to the next 5 years than to share 25 things I’ve learned before I hit 25…these are in no particular order, but they’re all important to me, so bear with me. Maybe you’ll see something you can relate to in this list…

25. Good food and good music always go hand in hand with each other.

24. Having shoulders to cry on is just as important as having shoulders to stand on.

23. Emotions are powerful tools when controlled and expressed constructively.

22. True beauty radiates from within.

21. Not everyone deserves more than one chance to get it right with you.

20. Heartbreak is but a stepping stone in the journey to happiness – better to experience it now than to deal with it forever.

19. Having good counsel around you proves to be more important the older that you get.

18. The music you listen to is indicative of the way you view life.

17. Laughter is one of the best experiences one can partake in.

16. A cute, short black dress really does make you feel sexy.

15. Perspective is limited by one’s life experiences, morals, and intentions.

14. The company of strong women is more edifying than is given credit for in the mainstream.

13. Your network really is your net worth.

12. Talking about ideas doesn’t really do much – the implementation of ideas is where the true success lies.

11. Dreams really do come true.

10. No matter how small the biological family is, it should never be taken for granted.

9. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health are all connected, and should all be taken care of with the same diligence and urgency.

8. The smallest moments with people you love will turn out to be the moments you remember the clearest.

7. Refusing to let your circumstances consume you may be the key to keeping a smile on your face.

6. Taking the time to let the people that you love know that you love them may benefit you more than it does them.

5. When people choose to walk out of your life, the best thing to do may be to actually let them walk. Fighting will only prolong the inevitable.

4. Aim to never be the smartest person in your circle.

3. Taking risks may blow up in your face, but it’s better to know than to walk around with the cloud of “what if” over your head.

2. Even when it doesn’t seem like it, your mother really does always have your best interest at heart and truly loves you more than she may know how to express.

1. God really does have it all under control.

I thank God that He is allowing me to get to 25…I hope that the end of my 20s proves to be as interesting, as fun-filled, as pleasantly dramatic, and as educational as the first half of my 20s have been. There were times where I literally thought that some situations would be the end of me, but it has turned out that they have only made me better. To those of you here to celebrate this with me, I appreciate you and love you from the bottom of my heart. Without you, there literally would be no me. You each mean something so special to me, and I’m extremely lucky and grateful to have you in my life.

I’ve come a long way from when I turned 20, and I hope that when I turn 30, I can look back at 25 and say the same.

 

Until next time, folks…

 

5 Reasons I Want A Man…

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reasons 1-5.

It’s no secret to people that know me that I’m single. Single as a dollar bill as I love to say. And you know what, that’s ok! Sometimes I relish in the fact that I’m a single girl living in this cool world with no one to answer to, no one to check in with, and no one to have to integrate into my already busy life. BUT…I’m still human, and more importantly, I’m still me, so…I know I want a relationship. In some ways, I’m not even 100% certain why I want a relationship, but I know I do. That whole…support, having each other’s back, and keeping each other in check thing is kinda attractive to me, what can I say? In keeping with my tradition of letting you all have first dibs on my mental mind, I thought I’d share with you my top 5 ridiculous reasons why I want a man. These are in no particular order, so just go with me.

1.) To have someone to cook for
Ya’ll. Listen. This past month or so has been absolutely ridiculous for me. I have never felt so many urges to cook for someone in my life. I’ve literally gone to the grocery store and dropped bills on bills on bills on groceries just to come home and cook for someone! The person that’s benefitted the most from this is my good friend Shon, since she’s been present for damn near everything I’ve cooked in this recent domestic binge. From salmon with watermelon and shrimp salad to turkey burgers and fried plantains to shrimp and broccoli alfredo to nutella cheesecake bars, she’s been here for it all. She’s even said to me, “Girl, if you had a man, I’d tell you to make this for him…” -_- hmph.

2.) To have someone to shop for
I know, this sounds absolutely ridiculous, but…let me explain. I have a slight sneaker addiction/obsession. More than half of the shoes in my closet are sneakers, and well…if I could wear them everyday, I swear I would. Now everytime I walk into Finish Line, I first head for the kids section to see what I want, but then I somehow always end up in the men’s section looking at shoes! Whose feet can fit those? Not mine! I walk past Nike Air Max 95s, Polo sneakers, Sperry Top Siders (even though they aren’t sneakers), take a longing glance at them, and walk out of the store empty headed and sad faced. And don’t get me started on when I go into Macy’s and hit the Polo section and go into Express to the dress shirt and tie section. Apparently, I want someone to spend money on. Where in the hell did this come from?

3.) To have someone to go places with me
It’s common knowledge to anyone that knows me that I like to go out and have fun and that I love to travel. Going to the bar? Count me in. Headed to a sporting event? Yep, I’m there. A concert is in town? Hell yeah, I’m going! The crew wants to go somewhere? I’m putting my planning hat on and making the reservations. The problem is…who the hell is going with me to these things? I love my friends to death, and love it when they go places with me, but I know they have lives! And their lives don’t always revolve around making sure I have fun when I go somewhere. For me to have a built in travel/fun buddy? MAN! That would be dope as hell. Granted, he’d actually have to like to do some of the same things I like to do, but…we’re not talking specifics right now!

4.) To have another driver around
I’m about to start shouting in here just from typing that. The thought of not having to always drive myself?! Listen. I think outside of work, I spend more time in my car than I do anywhere else. Everywhere I go, I drive, and sometimes I even drive other people where they need to go. The gas usage doesn’t really bother me (yet), but the time spent behind the wheel is starting to drive me up a wall. Sometimes I wanna text while I’m in the car…other times, it’d be nice to catch a quick 5-10 minute nap while I sit in the passenger seat…can I do that now? Nope! Do ya’ll know how excited I would be to just be like “hey babe, can you drive from Waldorf to Landover to Silver Spring to Baltimore and back to Largo tonight?” *does dougie* Seriously, the man might get a meal and a new shirt off of that alone…

5.) To have someone’s clothes to steal
If you looked in my pajama drawer, you’d swear I was a semi-pro basketball player. Nothing but tank tops and basketball shorts in there since I moved the lingerie to a different drawer. Now I remember there was a conversation on Twitter about how if a girl takes a guy’s clothes, that means something serious between the two of them. Let me tell you how I’d love to be sleeping in a shirt that smells like my man or in a pair of his clean basketball shorts. *rolls around in bed at the thought* I have a thing about scent, so to have something that smells like the man I’m with? *shakes head* If I steal his clothes, I’ll have built in pajamas whenever I stay at his place or he stays at mine…I think that’s a win-win for everyone involved.

So there you have it folks – my top 5 absolutely ridiculous reasons why I want to be in a relationship. What say you, good people? Any of my single readers want to be in a relationship, and if so, can you relate? For my readers out there who are living the boo’ed up life, have you ever had urges like the ones I talked about here? Take a minute and share some thoughts with me…until next time!

Feature Fridays – Le BOOM Vent Suite

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Howdy folks! Welcome back to Feature Fridays, and today I have a pretty personal song chosen. I know it’s the Friday before a holiday, and everyone is amped to get their long weekend started (I KNOW I am), but I decided I needed to share this song with you all since it’s been on constant rotation for the last week.

It always feels like Christmas to me when an artist that I love releases new music. With every track that passes, it’s like ripping another piece of wrapping paper off of the biggest gift under the tree. When Jill Scott released her new album, “The Light of the Sun,” it was no different for me. Her music has been a soundtrack for me in both sad and happy times, so I was eager to see what direction she took this new album in. As with most new music I buy, I bought it on my iPod, so I pulled my headphones in while at my desk at work and began to listen. 1 got to track 5 and immediately stopped in my tracks.

http://youtu.be/I3szlTzmJ3c

“Le Boom Vent Suite” seems to speak to every corner of my life. It’s almost as if Jill took a trip to DC, asked me what was going on, and wrote a song about it. The beginning of the song is completely empowering for me, and inspires me to make some changes in my own life, while the end reminds me that it’s sometimes easier said than done. That balance between believing that someone doesn’t want you and you deciding that it’s time to leave with the realization that maybe they do want you if you stick it out, coupled with your realization that you completely want them and you feel that they’d benefit your life if they’d just get it together? Man. It’s like she knows me. It’s so beautifully painful for me to listen to that I can’t seem to turn away from it whenever it comes on. As if you couldn’t already tell, I relate best to music, but it’s especially gripping for me when I’m going through something or trying to get to a place that’s described in a particular song. Whenever I feel strongly about a song, I tend to listen to it over and over, and that’s exactly what I’ve done with this song this week.

If you haven’t done so already, please go buy her album! It’s a work of art from start to finish in my opinion, and as a woman, there are a few songs on there that I completely relate to and that I feel very strongly about, with “Le Boom Vent Suite” taking the lead for the one I feel the most about. Are there any songs that you all have that seem to just kick you in the chest because it most accurately describes your life at a certain point? Let’s chat about them in the comments! Until next time, folks…

An Amazingly Simple Night…

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It’s been a while since I’ve put some words on this here e-crib of mine. Blame a full time job, a full time school load, and trying to maintain some semblance of a social life for that one. I decided to break my unintentional hiatus here with some thoughts that popped up this evening while on my drive home…

This evening I had the pleasure of finally meeting the boyfriend of one of my “big sisters.” Funny how I call her my big sister, but she needs a stepstool to hug me. ;-) Anyway…he and I clicked like we had known each other for years. I guess all of the trash talking we had done through her for the last couple of months built our rapport before we ever met each other. This isn’t about me, though. It is 100% all about them. What I witnessed tonight was one of the most beautiful displays of love I think I’ve seen in a very long time. It’s not because there were rose petals laid out all over the floor, or overt displays of affection (neither were present), but just because everything felt so…right. Anybody that knows me knows that I absolutely hate being a third wheel. Something about being single around a couple has always rubbed me the wrong way, but this time? Not even. They were so at ease with each other and with me that it felt like it was just three friends sitting around joking, laughing, and waiting to eat dinner, rather than a boyfriend, his woman, and her friend doing the same. The air in the house was just…light. No time for arguing, no time for ridiculousness, just genuine time spent with one another (and with me), and it was just absolutely perfect.

To be honest, it gave me hope. If I’m going to be honest with myself, I know I get really despondent about relationships sometimes, but watching them renewed my faith in a sense. It reminded me that true love doesn’t have to have this element of discontent and contention to it. I really feel like my friend and her man have the whole concept of “it’s the little things that matter” down pact. While I was engaging with them and cracking jokes the entire time, I was also taking mental notes. The way they talk to each other, the way they consider each other’s opinions, how hospitable each of them were to each other and to me, how you can literally feel the love they have for one another as soon as you walk into the room where both of them are…it left me feeling inspired. I needed to be reminded that it’s possible to feel that way about someone and to have them feel that way about you, and for it to just be…right. Man! I wish ya’ll could have been there…

Needless to say, I’m extremely happy for my friend. I’m so happy that he makes her happy and treats her well and that she walks around with a constant smile on her face because she deserves it. They fit each other well, they compliment each other well, and I feel like they work really well together. I’ve gotten a glimpse into what I hope my future looks like one day, and I am so extraordinarily blessed to have been in their presence for the short time that I was…thanks for the hope and the excellent example that you’ve set for me…

Between The Foreign Exchange being in heavy rotation, and having witnessed an amazing couple tonight, I feel like I’m going to have some great dreams. Everyone reading this – remember love is possible, necessary, and beautiful. Until next time, I leave you with one of my favorite lines from The Foreign Exchange that sums up exactly how I feel after tonight…

“Good people/good lovin’/good music in my life/
It makes me happy/so happy”
The Foreign Exchange – Happiness