Tag Archives: dreams

This Thing Called Fear…

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One of the most powerful emotions I have ever felt is fear. Fear has kept me from saying things, doing things, creating things…or it has caused me to do, say or be things other than what I wanted to do or who I wanted to be. Do you know how debilitating it is to see the life you want or yourself, but to be too afraid to even think about the steps you need to take to get that life? Or even worse, to know what you need to do, but to be too scared to move? That’s the kind of fear that gripped me. I’d know exactly what I wanted to do, but be too scared to do anything about it…which to me, is way worse than not knowing what you want to do at all. Up until recently, that was pretty much my sole method of operating. I’d be so gripped with fear, or with the “I’m not good enough” thought process that I’d never even make the first step. What kind of a life is that to live?

I’ll tell you — not a great one.

Over the last few months, I’ve had numerous conversations about dreams, destiny, and what it is I really want to do with my life. I’ve had them with people that have been in my life for a short time, and those that have been in my life for years. All of those conversations have led to a consensus: we all have dreams, they scare the mess out of all of us, but we feel like they are things we absolutely have to do. I would be a bold faced liar to sit here and say that my dreams don’t scare the crap out of me, because if I sit and think about it long enough, they truly do. I’m getting to the point now, though, where I am working around and through that fear. I can’t sit back any longer and wonder “what if I had taken that chance?” or “what if I had followed through on what I really wanted to do?” Life is too short to begin with, and the last thing I want to do is live with a whole bunch of regrets.

Does this mean that I’m going to have to step outside of my comfort zone? Definitely. Am I going to still be scared at some points? Of course! But my goal is to do it anyways. I’m trying to take risks that I normally wouldn’t take, to relentlessly pursue my dreams like my life depends on it, because it does. The very core of my being hinges on this journey to live the life I believe I’m destined to live. If I decide to give in to fear…if I decide to let it run my life, I will effectively die. Part of me will cease to exist, and I’m sorry, but I like all of me at this point. I need all of me to stay around, because well…I’m a pretty awesome person!

I’ve said all of this to say that I refuse to be ruled by fear anymore. It is a process to get out of this way of thinking, because I’ve conditioned myself/been conditioned to think this way for so long, but I am willing to go through the process in order to come out a better, more fulfilled, happier person on the other side. To you, my readers, I have to ask…am I the only one that’s been this gripped by fear? If not, what have you done to try and get over or around it to become the best you that you can be? Share with me in the comments; I’m sure we can all learn from each other.

Until next time, folks…

Looking to the Left…

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I was laying here in the bed trying to figure out what on Earth I was going to write about tonight. I kept telling myself that I need to do better with updating my blog; keeping myself in the habit of writing is my true goal in all of this. I was coming up at a loss on what to write about when I remembered that earlier today, Slim Jackson of SBM and I got into a dialogue about an article that he linked from Marc and Angel entitled “30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself.” I told him that I planned to print it out and put it on my “Wall of Inspiration” in my room, and he asked if I had written on how I had come up with that.

Well, whaddya know? I hadn’t! So here it is: short, sweet, and to the point. I went to do a favor for my friend Greer, and in her room, she had a list of the things that she wanted to accomplish on a posterboard in the direct line of vision from her bed. That got the wheels inside my head turning. I’m a person that likes to plan things – whether it be my grocery list, what I’m wearing this weekend even though it’s the beginning of the week, or a vacation, I feel like part of my destiny is wrapped up in the ability to plan things. Therefore, I thought it would be apt to come up with a plan for how I wanted the next year to go. Based on Greer’s example, I decided to break my life down into categories, and give myself goals/tasks in each category. Some of the goals/tasks are date specific, and others are lifestyle changes that I hope to implement starting now and transferring them into the new year and beyond. I also decided to take things a step further, and ask my friends for their favorite quotes to add to a forthcoming quote board. I finished that on Monday evening, and it is proudly displayed next to my plans for 2012. All I need is a few pictures, a new vision board, and a couple of other articles/items and my wall will be complete!

The title of this post comes from the fact that I have to look up and to the left when I’m laying in my bed to see these lists I’ve created. I sleep facing the lists, so they will now be one of the last things I see before I go to bed at night, and one of the first things I see when I wake up in the morning. I am confident that both of these will serve as guides to seeing my goals come to fruition and watching my dreams come true.

So, here’s your turn to share with me. Is there anything in your room or in your home that serves as inspiration to you? If so, what is it? If not, do you think that something like this could help you out? Let’s talk about it – something you see here may help you out! :-)